Why men date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Affairs can be filled with troubles, cause misery, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age dissimilarity, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married men.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is only the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.